Talked to Mom today. I’m out of town for Mother’s Day, about which I feel bad, but she went out with my brother and sister-in-law and their kids.
Me: So where’d you guys go?
Mom: Arlington. It was really nice.
Me: You went to the track?
Mom: Yes. <Grandchild> and I bet on the 7 and the 9 horse in the ninth race. I gave her the money and let her go to the window, but we made a mistake. We…
Me: A mistake you mean besides letting an eight-year-old-girl place the bet at the window?
Mom: No, she was fine. I meant we should have bet the opposite of what we did.
I’m relieved. I’m all for letting kids be the runners on horseracing bets, but you have to check their work. Also, this story reminded me of one of my favorite jokes, which I printed here many years ago but it is time to share again:
A child returns from a day out with her Uncle George. Uncle George is the family ne’er-do-well, so Mommy was a bit nervous about it, but sometimes when you need a babysitter you need a babysitter. “Mommy, Mommy!” the girl cries, “We had a so fun day!”
Mommy says “Really? What did you and Uncle George do?”
“We went to lunch and then we went to the zoo!”
“Really?” Mommy says. “What did you have for lunch?”
The girl says, “Wendy’s! And I had a frosty AND a fries!”
Mommy smiles – she never allows both – and relaxes. Uncle George is a little more tolerant than Mommy, but her concern seems to have been misplaced. Relieved, Mommy says, “How was the zoo?”
“Oh, we had fun! The best time! It was a beautiful day, and there were lots of cute aminals, and – oh! oh! – in the sixth one of the aminals went off at nine to one and paid $42.40 on a five-dollar win ticket!”