Favorite drink: Dark rum & diet cola, well-iced, with a lime wedge.
If you are what you eat, then I am: Dead meat, I guess, though the more abstract “Too much!” is also an appealing — and I think accurate — answer.
Worst habit: There is a Sniglet to be made of “tedious” and “tenacity”, and when it is coined, I shall replace this sentence with that word.
Turn-ons: Brazen sexuality, ability to “ride the reference train” (to steal a great phrase from “Cad”), nontraditional hair colors, and ridiculously low-rise jeans.
Favorite cartoon: The first crop of Roadrunner cartoons. Especially the catapult gag.
Favorite animal: Dogs, for companionship, and monkeys, for their potential as Comedy Gold.
Favorite pet anecdote: There are so many, and nearly all from one dog. Hm. I once witnessed the Old Man, who ate mice and dirt and newspaper, refuse even to taste a proffered burger from White Castle.
Favorite kind of music: Rap, I s’pose, of the West Coast variety — but also calypso, reggae, lounge, blues, classic rock…
Favorite movie: The Mosquito Coast.
Favorite number: The over
Pipe-dream future aspiration: Reasonably compensated writer. Food writer. Travel writer. Novelist. Comedy writer. Whatever.
Most desirable feature (of yourself): Meticulous attention to fairness
Least desirable feature (of youself): Obsessive need for fairness
What you desire in a mate: Lust, reliability, and independence — for both of us.
Amusingly misguided former aspiration: I wanted to be a veterinarian once, until I learned there was more to it than petting the patients.
What you don’t desire in a mate: Clinginess, indifference, affectation
First crush: Lady Jaye, as I recall.
Did your eye heal?: So far, so good. Next followup is 7/21. (Two followup appointments would seem to indicate that the original injury was more serious than I thought.) Kind of you to ask.
Describe yourself in one word: Memorable
Describe yourself in two words: Acquired taste
First car: 1982 Buick LeSabre. White outside, burgundy inside. I miss you, ACME One.
How would you like to die? Far down the road, quickly, and with no one made upset by the event.