Welcome to America’s Third-Fastest Growing Quiz Sensation, ‘How Would You React?’!
Here’s our first situation:
It’s nineteen degrees, grey, and windy at 7:15am on a Saturday morning. You have not yet had coffee, having planned a Caribou stop. Your car, which you should be using right at that very moment to take the girl who spent the night with you to a career-critical function, will not start. Further examination reveals an inexplicably dead battery. A jumpstart vehicle is summoned. The girl glares at you and says things like “It’s only an $92 cab ride away.” Hooking the jump vehicle up to the frozen block of Toyota does nothing for the starter, but provides just enough juice to the battery to power the piercing alarm siren. It is revealed to you that the alarm-clicker is broken. This is the same alarm-clicker that you were assured had been fixed months ago by the dealership. The alarm-clicker is presently roughly as useful for turning off the screaming siren as would be, say, a Wendy’s junior bacon cheeseburger. The girl is glaring at you as though this is your fault. The jump vehicle’s driver is helpfully reminding you that getting mad won’t help. The car still won’t start. If you could beam the girl to her career-critical function on the spot, she would still be late. The siren enters minute seven of unabated wailing.
How Would You React?
a) Write up a general note of apology to the neighborhood and post it on streetlights?
b) Go back inside and pretend you don’t know what’s happening?
c) Call triple-A and burst into tears?
d) Investigate the layout under the hood for a bit, identify the bullhorn-shaped speaker producing the siren noise, seize it with your bare and freezing hands, rip the howling thing from the bolts affixing it to the engine block, sever the wires feeding it, and throw it thirty yards into street?