Five Questions from j.ko:
1) Of the multitude to choose from, what is your favorite single WhiskeyFest memory?
The Bourbon vs. Scotch Debate: Richard Paterson (of the Dalmore) vs Frederick Booker Noe III.
2) List the non-alcoholic beverages and/or mixers essential to stocking your ideal personal well-stocked bar:
Assuming the bar is for my personal consumption, rather than my stocking of a party bar: Lemons, limes, diet cola, filtered water, a coffeemaker and associated paraphernalia, pineapple juice, 1/2 & 1/2, and ice.
3) List five restaurants (and their locations) you are eager to patronize for the first time:
U.S. only, and in no particular order:
* Patsy’s, New York City, NY
* Babbo, New York City, NY
* Buffet, Wynn, Las Vegas, NV
* The French Laundry, Yountville, CA
* Mosca’s, Avondale, LA
(Just removed from the list in the last couple weeks: Frank Pepe’s Pizzeria, New Haven, CT; and Roseland Apizza, Derby, CT.)
4) En route to somewhere else, you have a 12-hour layover in Las Vegas with a friend of yours who has never visited Sin City. Your companion looks at you and says, â€œSo, what do we do?â€ What is the itinerary?
4pm: Arrive at Mandalay Bay. Begin walking up the Strip. Stops: Inside of the Luxor. New York New York casino floor. MGM Grand restaurant row.
445pm: Arrive at Bellagio buffet. Eat.
630pm: Waddle out to see dancing fountains.
7pm: Caesar’s. Nap by pool. Meander Forum shops. Marvel. Invest a little.
9pm: Resume walk. Visit Paris. Have a pastry at Le Notre. Move on to Venetian, the Mirage, Treasure Island, and Wynn. Explore. Invest. Cadge drinks.
1130pm: Arrive Stratosphere. Ride up to the restaurant at the top, and have coffee and dessert. Admire view.
1230am: Ride to Downtown Las Vegas. Wander seediness. Have $.99 shrimp cocktails at the Golden Gate. Invest. Cadge more drinks. See the Golden Nugget’s Golden Nugget. Peoplewatch. Misbehave.
2am: Cab it to Olympic Garden. Admire view. Revel in seediness. Say hi to Cristal, Secret, and Raquel for me.
340am: Reluctantly board taxi bound for McCarran. Tip lavishly when passenger vomits.
5) In your packing and moving adventure, what three items were surprisingly difficult to decide whether or not they should accompany you on the journey to the Keys?
(Background: Move Phase One, 9/15-1/7/06. Rent a furnished apartment and look for something to buy. Move Phase Two, 1/8/05 and points beyond. Two owned living spaces; one here, one there.)
1) The birds. I feel like we’re abandoning them by leaving them behind for the first leg, but at their age, it also seems unfair to them to try to make them make the trip. It’s a dilemma. I still haven’t reached 100% certainty on what to do with with them. (Unlike the Pitmaster, which I don’t think would survive being moved across the yard.)
2) The bed. I am fond of the Big Bed, but it can’t be compacted much. Jury’s still out, but leaning negative.
3) Kitchen equipment beyond a couple of good pots and pans and my knives. I want to have the mixer and the ice cream maker and the baking stone and the chili pot and pretty much all the rest of it, but I can’t, until I have some idea what size kitchen I’ll be dealing with.
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Five Questions from eden:
1. so, i was a total prude in high school and never had detention or anything. i did, however, engage in “senior ditch day,” but this was specially-designated. it was practically a school holiday…nothing subversive about it. i hear you’ve recently engineered an adult ditch day. explain to me the activities for the imminent octogenarian ditch day.
4am: Arise. Wander aimlessly about the house, awaiting the paper.
540am: Make decaf.
630am: Eat breakfast.
7: Critique morning television. Map out letter of outrage in head re: Katie Couric’s ‘sauciness’.
9am: Walk to store to buy one apple, a pint of milk, and baking soda. Fill prescriptions.
11am: Call radio talk show. Criticize things.
2pm: Senior discount matinee of movie overloaded with gratuitous and unnecessary profanity and featuring incomprehensible fashion.
5pm: Early Bird Special at Old Country Buffet.
6pm: Two-for-one senior discount special arrives from Debbie’s Dungeon. Be bound/gagged/flogged/clamped/etc. firmly but affectionately by six-foot dominatrix dressed as Ginger Rogers. Feel like a real person for a couple hours.
8pm: Tea before bed.
2. have you ever really seen bloody thunder? if so, what is it like? if not, make it up.
Bloody Thunder rocks! I saw them at Lollapalooza maybe eleven years ago. (It might have been twelve. We were pretty high.) They went on right before the Chili Peppers and right after I saw three people go into a portapotti to fuck. I got so sunburnt that day. I still have the scar from the pit, too. That was back when I was cool.
3. in the vein of pentecostal tongues-speaking crazies, give me a call & response about the sacrifices you were forced to endure when finally purchasing a cell phone.
When first I was told I needed a phone, I heard a disturbing sound!
I said when first I was told I needed a phone, I heard a disturbing sound!
It was a terrible sound!
A terrible disturbing sound!
It was the sound of that phone ringing!
It was the disturbing sound of that phone ringing, in the deep of night!
It was the disturbing sound of that phone ringing in the deep of night, and my own dear mama saying “Are you going to the store?”
It was the disturbing sound of that phone ringing in the deep of night, and my own dear mama saying “Are you going to the store? If you are, could you stop by Costco and buy me ten gallons of crushed pineapple and an outboard motor?”
I wept, children, I wept, when I heard that sound!
I looked to the Lord for help!
I said I LOOKED TO THE LORD FOR HELP!
And the Lord gave me the help I needed!
The Lord looked at me, and I looked at the Lord, and the Lord said, ‘Jesus. Even I have a fucking cellphone.’
Brothers and sisters, the Lord has a cellphone!
The! Lord! Has! A! Cellular! Telephone!
And the Lord might just call you up!
And if the Lord calls you, you just better make sure your phone is on!
Because the Lord don’t leave no voicemail!
I said the LORD don’t leave no VOICE MAIL!
I said THE LORD DON’T LEAVE NO VOICE MAIL!
So you better be there to answer, children.
You better answer.
4. how will i recognize you?
You’ll just know. I don’t know how, either, but you will.
5. okay, so let’s say you’re a restless native, dancing in a grass skirt and cowrie shells around your primitive savage village and two unsuspecting tourists walk up with their giant cameras and jaunty safari gear. what do you do?
Choreograph an elaborate, excuse-filled piece of stagework wherein, while closely examining the travelers, we drag out a huge iron pot, build a fire under it, and fill it with water, aromatics and vegetables, all the while assuring the tourists that our ceremonial crock-pot is intended to serve some thinly veiled other purpose, and arrange for high-stakes wagering on the exact second they flee.
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Refrain: This is how it works.
If you want me to ask you five questions, leave a message in the comments.
I will post your five questions in a later post.
You will post the answers on your own weblog.