I have decided to create a meme. Because someone has to. And to clean out my “Blognotes” file.
Three things that intelligent people I know think is hilarious, but I just don’t see it. Not in an I-find-this-offensive way, in a no-seriously-what’s-the-big-deal? way:
1) “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”. Actually, much of Monty Python generally. Actually, most English humor past the first half-minute of Benny Hill fleeing.
2) Will Ferrell
3) The foreign-visitor-with-a-language-problem routine, wherin the comedy is supposedly in making polite people look like hayseed assholes. I understand there’s a movie about this now. I first found it excruciating as segments of “Trigger Happy TV”, which I otherwise loved.
People related to me by either blood or marriage are regularly whistled by me for:
Garbage goaltending. Attention family: There is no invisible cylinder extending upwards from the upper rim of the wastebasket that is technically still within the bounds of the waskebasket. Carefully balancing the latest piece of refuse atop a protruding cone of garbage in lieu of taking the bag out is a Foul.
Two books I have read recently that are well worth your time, and two I am eagerly awaiting from the library:
1) ‘Heat’, by Bill Buford. An account of the cult of Italian food, as practiced by Mario Batali
2) ‘Horsemen of the Espohagus’, by Jason Fagone. While IFOCE is always an entrancing subject, the real charm of ‘Horsemen’ is that of another book I liked, ‘Confederates in the Attic’ — it’s fascinating to me to read books written by authors who clearly went into the book process with the mindset of an elitist douchbag but wound up making friends.
1) ‘The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid’, by Bill Bryson, and ‘Hannibal Rising’, by Thomas Harris. Neither has let me down yet.
Three things I think about when I need inspiration about how much better my current job is than my last few:
1) Conversations with co-workers that I was only having to avoid going back to my chair.
2) Pointless and inconvenient cost-cutting.
3) Having this conversation with Legal:
Lawyer: It has come to our attention that you are doing something. That’s against company policy.
Me: I got permission.
Lawyer: From who?
Me: You. I’ll forward you the e-mail.
Five songs my computer just loves, judging from their frequency of appearance in the ‘All Music – Random’ rotation.:
“Hot for Teacher”, Van Halen (Far and away my laptop’s personal favorite.)
“B Movie Boxcar Blues”, the Blues Brothers
“Rockit”, Herbie Hancock (This one seems to make sense.)
“Janie’s Got A Gun”, Aerosmith
“Thunder Road”, Bruce Springsteen (It only loves the version from the ‘Live 75-85’ box set, though.)
Four things I liked, and one thing I didn’t, about the last movie I saw, which in this case was ‘Superman Returns’:
1) The running into an alley and ripping open the shirt. I’m old-fashioned about some things.
2) The newscaster’s line about — I’m paraphrasing — “…reaction coming in from cities around the world: Paris, Berlin, Gotham…””
3) The way the shadow of 9/11 darkened the way I saw every action scene in Metropolis.
4) “Great Caesar’s Ghost.”
1) Kevin Spacey. Never for one second did I stop thinking “Hey, that’s Kevin Spacey.” He wasn’t as wrong as Gene Hackman, but he was still wrong.
The moment when I got totally hooked on ______________________ was when:
“Malcolm in the Middle”, when, during the “Lois’ Birthday” episode, she screams “I need a little human consideration! I shouldn’t even have to ask!” and Hal says, “Oh. Jeez. Honey, that’s never gonna happen.”
And Lois says “Wh-what?”
And Hal says:
“We’re not smart enough to do that. Look who you’re talking to! You might as well ask us all to be a foot taller. Sweetie, you’re always gonna have to tell us what to do. I mean, look at this half-baked celebration. And we’re at the top of our game here! The only thing we’re ever going to be able to offer you is our total, abject, obedience. I know that it doesn’t sound like much, but look at it this way: Our meager abilities are yours completely. One. Hundred. Percent.”
People I’m tagging for the Make-Your-Own-Meme:
I only tag the Mob. I don’t single folks out. Freestyle y’ownself.