Absolutely unedited transcript of a phone conversation I had today:
Drone: Thank you for calling ESPN Fantasy Sports. My name is Scott. How can I help you today?
Me: Hi, Scott. I just added two teams to my league, and it cancelled our live draft time. I need it back.
Scott: Can you confirm your ESPN login?
Me: Yes, it’s commissioneral1.
Scott: Okay, and your team is the Las Vegas…uh…
Me: The Las Vegas Goddamn Animals, yes. See how the draft time says “830am”?
Scott: Please hold.
Sportscenter commercial. Not one of the good ones.
Scott: Huh. I guess it does. I haven’t encountered this before. But it does show that it resets if you add teams.
Me: Right. It doesn’t mention that on the “Add Teams” page. So I need you to just put our draft time back.
Scott: Um, I can’t do that.
Me: Why not?
Scott: The system doesn’t allow for that. The draft time slots are full. We have to limit the number of drafts going on at any one time, so the systems don’t crash.
Me, to myself: “Oh, like they did during the first two weeks of the fantasy baseball season?”
Me, aloud So I am to get eighteen people to agree on a new draft time and date inside nine days?
Scott: You can stay on the “Edit Draft Time” page and keep refreshing the page. A slot might come open.
Me: Just keep refreshing the page.
Scott: Yes. I had to do that for one of my drafts.
Me: I might as well move the whole league to Yahoo.
Scott: That’s probably your best solution.