Archive for December, 2003

Free Dodon!

Tuesday, December 30th, 2003

PETROPAVLOVSK-KAMCHATSKY, December 29. /RIA NOVOSTI CORRESPONDENT OKSANA GUSEVA/ — RIA Novosti was told in the Kamchtka search-rescue detachment that a bear tore a man to pieces in the Kronotsky wildlife refuge. One of the oldest workers of the Kronotsky wildlife refuge and well-known Kamchatka photographer and hunting specialist Vitaly Nikolayenko fell victim to a big bear 1.5 kilometres from the station on the territory of the wildlife refuge. Nikolayenko was taking a photograph of the beast and failed to use the weapon he was carrying when the bear attacked him.

The Dodon Liberation Front has claimed their first victim. A spokesman for Ursa Major, the DLF’s parent organization, repeated his previous statement, adding, “The attempt at appeasement has failed. The man went out in the woods today, and he got a big surprise. You cannot say we didn’t warn him.”

When oh when will the world awake to this growing threat? We’re at war, people!

(Not incidentally, months later, the video that shocked the world and launched the insurgency is still utterly riveting.)

Never Trust A Skirt

Monday, December 29th, 2003

GameStopped

Friday, December 26th, 2003

Ho Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

Administedium

Thursday, December 18th, 2003