In the show open before the Bulls took the 1999 Eastern Conference Finals from the Pacers, Bob Costas gave what I think is one of the great sports monologues of all time, about how, in sports, there are no two more exciting words than “Game Seven”. Does anybody besides me remember this?
I am a sucker for alternate history-fiction. There’s a particularly fine example posted today at the House Of Whoop Ass. (Not to mention an excellent Olsen twin gag.)
I had to buy a dress shirt today, as my previous one was beginning to show age. Somewhere in the extended discussion regarding this new shirt, I was asked what size I was, which somehow led to the (apparently startling) revelation that I had last purchased a dress shirt in the summer of 1994, which reminded me of this greatness. I dig PTI, Mr. Tony, but you got to write more. And I demand you bring back the radio show.
Transcript of a telephone conversation I had last night, the end of which contains the newest member of the Mental Image Hall Of Fame:
(ring)
Me: What’s up?
Rob: I thought we needed to talk turkey. It’s near time to go back out to Ho-Ka.
Me: That it is. When?
Rob: The Wednesday or the Sunday before Thanksgiving?
Me: Works for me. Shall we arrange for a large delegation?
Rob: You want to send an e-mail? Poll who’s interested?
Me: I could run a focus group, sure. Probably mean we’ll go on Sunday, though.
Rob: Better check and make sure they’re open Sundays, first.
Me: Check and see if a remote turkey farm is open the Sunday before Thanksgiving? That’s like calling Toys ‘R’ Us to see if they’re open Christmas Eve. Besides, it might be more fun closed.
Rob: We’d have to catch out own turkeys.
Me: I’m picturing the chicken-chasing scene from Rocky.
Rob: Except with birds that are much bigger and much stupider. Maybe we shouldn’t call ahead.
Me: But I can also see us fleeing ten thousand angry turkeys.
Rob: Sliding across the hood of the car like the Dukes of Hazzard?
Me: I was more thinking of the scene with Indiana Jones running from the Hovitos. But with turkeys.
Both: JACQUES! START THE PLANE! START THE PLANE!