How strange that you, of all of us, would prove to be the most hopeful.

In the past seven days, I have somehow managed to see two of the three bands of my adolescence. Van Halen at the Rosemont Horizon on Tuesday, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at the United Center on Sunday. (The third is gone forever, no matter how much John Goodman and Jim Belushi might try.) A concertgoing accomplishment of this magnitude — by my standards, two shows in a week is the equivalent of following the Dead for a summer — warrants a tale of the tape.

Ticket Price for Comparable Seats
Springsteen: $130 for the pair
Van Halen: $90 (eBay, day-of. Face value of the two was $170)

Promoting a new album
Springsteen: Yes
Van Halen: No

Number of Songs Played From New Album
Springsteen: Nine
Van Halen: N/A

Ticket Value (Price Per Song I Wanted To Hear)
Springsteen: $13
Van Halen: $7.50

Biggest Crowd Reaction
Springsteen: “Adam Raised A Cain”
Van Halen: “Hot For Teacher”

Didn’t Like But Knew Was Inevitable
Springsteen: Political instruction
Van Halen: Ended with “Jump”

Was Surprised To Hear
Springsteen: “Reason to Believe”
Van Halen: Eddie talk.

Tedious Incarnation Of Which There Was Absolutely No Sign
Springsteen: Tom Joad Springsteen
Van Halen: Not Technically Van Halen (What Entarte Kunst calls “Van Hagar”)

Did Not Really Notice The Absence Of
Springsteen: Patti Scialfa. (Who was off attending to a “kid thing”, which if it’s serious explains the phoned-in feel of the show and I forgive them.)
Van Halen: Michael Anthony.

Crowd
Springsteen: Between indifferent and content
Van Halen: Ecstatic

Performers
Springsteen: Between indifferent and content*
Van Halen: Ecstatic

Sign I Was Holding Up In My Head At The End Of The Night
Springsteen: “Your Cover Band Was Better Than You”
Van Halen: “I Need Tix For Thursday Show”

* In fairness, the last time I saw Bruce, it was the 1999 reunion tour, and they were much, much better. Maybe they don’t like the new album either.

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