Fuck Me Shoes

Excerpt of an actual exchange with a very cute employee (name changed) of Dick’s Sporting Goods yesterday, with whom I’d had an interesting and slightly flirty conversation over the past fifteen minutes concerning pronation-correction in athletic shoes:

Me: I think I’ll try these. Do you have them in 12 regular?

Cassie: Let me check.  (leaves/returns)  I’m really sorry. No.

Me: That’s okay.

Cassie: But ours is a pretty small Dick’s.

Me: (smiling) Well, don’t feel bad.

Cassie: Let me check around. There’s a lot of larger Dick’s I can call that probably have more in stock.

Me: (realizing she’s not listening to herself, now trying not to smile) Don’t put yourself out. But I will be near the one in Schaumburg this weekend.

Cassie: Oh, great. That’s a really big…(growing look of horror)…Dick’s…um, I, uh, I’lljustgointhebackandcallaboutyourshoes.

Me: (trying not to grin, failing) Don’t worry about it, Cassie.

Cassie: I’llberightbackjustwaithereandI’llcheckonyourshoesthanksholdon.

* * * * *

I would love to hear how she tells this story.

5 Responses to “Fuck Me Shoes”

  1. Pete says:

    If she even tells it at all…

  2. paisana says:

    I once had a fifteen minute long conversation about the various merits of beaver fur with zero entendre until someone pointed it out to me.

  3. missunderstood says:

    You get any pics? Topless pics?

  4. Lola says:

    Christ, you and the topless pics. {shaking head, rolling eyes}

  5. Shel says:

    Yeah. I have a hard time saying I’m going to a Dick’s at all.

    It’s the teenager in me.

    A hard time.

    Egad.

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