Blood And Thunder

“Isn’t there anyone out there who can tell me what Super Bowl Sunday is all about?”

“Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights please?”

(a single spotlight shines on Linus)

“And there were in the same country cooks abiding in their kitchens, keeping watch over their food by night. And lo, the Al of the Lord came upon them, and the smell of chili wafted ’round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the Al said unto them, ‘Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is played in the City of Miami a game, which is Super Bowl Forty-Four. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find friends and family wrapped in napkins and baggy pants and lying in a stupor.’”

“And suddenly there was with the Al, a multitude of cooks, dishing up and saying, ‘Glory to food in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men, and buy a couple squares, and have some more cake.’”

“That’s what Super Bowl Sunday is all about, Charlie Brown.”

 

Let’s get something straight. Christmas as commercial holiday is not a new development. Christmas has been about gettin’ stuff since Day One:

“And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh”

- Matthew 2:11

Now it seems to me that that is, quite literally, chapter & verse on Christmas; and in the forty words* that provide the final authority on what is and is not “Christmas”, specifically mentioned are:

Obliquely referenced is:

But nowhere is mentioned:

So enough with the handwringing.   May the pious and righteous among you do things your way, and may you leave those of us who prefer our Christmas garish, commercialized, and in the company of at least three hos, to do it ours. 

At least we can all agree on wine.

 

* (If you include Matthew 2:10 – “They were overjoyed at seeing the star” – you can add “Garish displays of Christmas lights” to the list.)

(Reposted for the benefit of Facebook – originally recorded 12/1/08)

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INT. Thanksgiving dinner, 2008. Family gathered around the table.

Family member (to Luna): So what’s your favorite Christmas movie?

Luna: “White Christmas”! I love “White Christmas”.

Me: Which one is that? That’s not the Jimmy Stewart one, right?

Luna: (to me. not quietly.) It’s the one where Bing Crosby tapdances with Danny Fucking Kaye.

 

 

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(If you don’t grok this — by which I mean, if you’re still sitting upright: